What have you replaced the church with?

26 Jun

I had a friend ask me this.  I guess it’s a similar question to “how will you know how to be good without the church?”

I thought I’d share my response because I felt like it described how I feel so well.

If you remove a tumor from your body do you need to replace it with something? Or does your body organically fill in the vacant spot with the goodness that was supposed to be there in the first place that the tumor had pushed out of the way to make space to grow?

By removing the church I’ve made space for love. For family. For real friendships. For honesty. For authenticity. For education without boundaries and limitations. For knowledge without fear. I’ve opened up the box that the LDS church has kept me locked in for my entire life and made space to be myself and it’s a glorious thing.

For my readers who have also quit believing in and attending the LDS church- what have you replaced it with?  How have you filled in the space that it left?


Posted by on June 26, 2013 in ex-mormons, LDS church, mormons


2 responses to “What have you replaced the church with?

  1. HelpMeUnderstand

    December 30, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    Your blog is so beautiful. I wish I would’ve come across it earlier! I too have filled the hole it left with similar interests and passions; although I’m still working on making sure the tumor is gone.

    Thank you for your intimate story of leaving the church. I feel your story can really help me in my continuing transitional period. It is nice to know I am not alone!

    I never knew leaving could be so difficult, lonely, and scary.

  2. dancinfree

    November 9, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Reading your blog is like reading my story. We must have been twins at birth! Whenever I see the words “left the church” something in it doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel that I ever quit or left the church. I look back and see that each footstep took me on a path that, some would define as leaving the church but I would argue, I chose to step in a direction where I find myself happy, authentic and not in the church. As I glance back down my path, I see the forks in the road but they are intricate and filled with complexity. My unexpected joy was experiencing that with each step, I was whole, honest, authentic with no hole to fill, no void to replace. I was a good person, without a God or church to tell me what to do. There is no searching for me, only enjoying my present, just Being as I breathe, is enough.


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