Category Archives: LDS church

Protecting the most vulnerable: Why aren’t you angry?

“The question isn’t why people are angry, the question is why you aren’t.”


I’ve been thinking about the unintended consequences of this “policy change.” Who is the most likely to be most hurt by the policies and the messages being sent by how the church has decided to deal with members of the LGBTQ community. Not that there isn’t enough hurt to go around but, is it adults in stable, loving relationships who are hurt the most? Is it their children?

I read this story posted on Facebook and realized that there is an entire subset of people we’ve (or at least I’ve) overlooked.

The straight, married couples who stay in the church, have a bunch of babies, go to church every Sunday, pay their tithing, love the prophet, don’t drink coffee and go to the temple weekly. Those people? They’re the perfect mormon couples who has a gay child and doesn’t even know it. That child should be our top concern.

“The first time I tried to commit suicide I was 14 years old.

The second time I was 15.

The third I was 20 and on my mission.”

That gay mormon child who will keep attending church. Those mormon kids who hear (through these actions) they are so unwanted that even their unborn children won’t be accepted.

These gay children who haven’t come out yet, who are already in a dangerous environment that was just made even more dangerous.

The results are tragic. The result is too often death.

Excluding anyone based on sexual orientation sends a message, it doesn’t matter how much you proclaim your message is love if it’s heard as exclusion, fear and hate.


Now what if that gay mormon child is yours? Or your niece or nephew? Or your granddaughter or grandson?  What then? Is your church worth more than their life? Because if it is then maybe you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

From Fox 13 in SLC: 

SALT LAKE CITY– Professionals working on the front lines of suicide prevention say they’re handling a higher volume of calls since last Thursday.

Studies show LGBTQ youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers — that’s why advocates are urging teens to speak up and for parents to listen.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, they can call or text Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. For more information, visit

Help is available 24/7.

For parents who are looking for some guidance, there is a community forum being held Wednesday from 7 to 9 p.m. at Rowland Hall, located at 843 Lincoln St. in Salt Lake City. It is an opportunity to connect with advocates and learn more about resources available.

As always, if you need someone to talk to, send me a note. ❤

suicide rainbow

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Posted by on November 11, 2015 in homosexuality, LDS church, mormons


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Missionary work- you’re doing it wrong

A few weeks ago there was a large, “historic” missionary meeting held.  It was broadcast and members were encouraged to attend.

Where necessary, local leaders should adjust scheduled worship services so that members are able to participate in the live broadcast of this historic event.

The meeting largely centered on the “new” ways of conducting missionary work.  Tracting is largely unproductive so now missionaries will be using social media (largely Facebook) to contact people who are recommended to them through local members, chatrooms via and will use Facebook to build relationships with people before trying to go to their house and talk to them in their living rooms about religion.  Also they’ll be doing this with brand new Ipads! Also your local missionaries will be giving tours of the local meeting house to interested parties since now they’ll be hanging out there to access the meetinghouse wifi (hint: password usually Pioneer47).

Yay missionaries!

missionaries rock on

Except now it looks more like this:

So…  why were so many members invited to attend this meeting of “historic” proportions?  Well it was also a pep rally to the fabulousness (yes I just made that word up) of the church and a guiltfest (made that one up too) for members to do their part.  The missionaries have better luck teaching people (and let’s keep our eye on the prize- baptizing people they teach) when they are able to utilize the members to find people to teach.  So members need to be excited about missionary work and participate in it.  But they should be nice even if people aren’t interested in their message… right?  Right. Because that’s the the right thing to do.

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Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing

Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing


The LDS church has recently (July 13, 2013) unveiled a new search engine powered by Google and censored by LDS inc.

The Church has revamped the search function and features to include Google’s powerful search technology, harnessing its signature ability to find relevant information.

Relevant information?  What does that mean?

That means:  Official, Safe Content

Official? Safe?

The new search provides a more safe and Church-specific search experience than Google, said Brother Ward. When you search from Google’s website, the results you get back may or may not be official content, he explained. Some results might be links to members’ personal blogs or even anti-Church sites.

The search, however, only returns links to official Church-approved content that is currently available on and other Church websites. And even though Google’s technology is used, no user information is provided back to Google. “It provides a safe, private, shock-free environment to search for approved gospel resources,” said Brother Ward.

So you can search only church approved sources and get only church approved answers to all your gospel questions.

Why is that needed?   Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 23, 2013 in doubt, LDS church, mormons, polyandry, polygamy


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Han Fei Story Three: The age of religions and gods


About Christmas time Han Fei told us the story surrounding Chinese New Year in preparation to teach some aspects of Chinese culture to the Elementary kids she worked with.  The story had some interesting points that led to an interesting statement that I mulled over for a while. Read the rest of this entry »


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Han Fei: Story One

Part of my story that I’d be crazy not to mention is the influence of Han Fei in warming up my critical thinking skills before my dive into the specifics of LDS history and doctrine.


Han Fei came to stay with us at the beginning of the school year in 2010 from Dahlin, China to teach English at our local high school and to help out with the Chinese Immersion program at the local elementary school that my youngest two children were a part of.  We hosted her from late July until the following June- and she was a part of our family.  She lived with us through my initial faith transition- but she was also a catalyst for several different points of critical thinking.

Disclaimer- these stories- like all other stories are purely from my point of view.  Other people involved may remember things differently.  But as far as my memory goes they are as best I remember them.

Story One: A View from the outside

We invited Han Fei to come to church with us her first Sunday in our home.  We made it very clear that it wasn’t expected and that we wouldn’t be offended if she didn’t come.  She declined, saying she was Buddhist and uninterested.  I offered to help her find a Buddhist temple to attend- she declined that as well.

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Jeffery Holland: Lord I Believe

Remember- this is what I hear when I listen to conference.  It’s not roses and sunshine.  It’s not happy and uplifting.  It’s not at all what you were going for when you were “inspired” to send it to me.  If you want to know why I’m reviewing conference, or what conference is- go here.

Holland is a current crowd favorite.  His talk from this last conference, Lord I Believe, was posted and re-posted and praised over and over- when you count all the pins from Pinterest and status updates from Facebook I think it was the most popular talk from this conference.

(These excerpts from a BBC interview are my favorite Holland moments- they were not shown in conference though… yet.)

I think the reason why it was a crowd favorite is that Holland attempts to acknowledge that people are struggling to believe in the church.  Which is good.  People are losing faith- at an ever growing rate. Leaving in droves you might even say… or as Marlin Jensen said, “we are in a greater state of apostasy then since Kirtland.”

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Conference Review- A Preface and a Note to Believers

I was just going to jump into reviewing talks- but I decided I needed a brief explanation of what conference is for the people who aren’t LDS/Mormon and a brief “what is your problem?” for the Mormons.

A Preface:

A couple months ago was LDS General Conference.  For those uninitiated it’s five “sessions” that are two hours long each in two days. That’s 10 hours of speakers, songs and prayers.  One of those sessions is the ‘Priesthood Session’ so only men are supposed to watch that one (generally at a church building while wearing Sunday dress clothes).  There is a meeting the week before that is 90 minutes long for women.  In the spring it’s specifically geared to the Young Women (girls ages 12-18) and in the Fall it’s geared towards the women in the church (Relief Society Meeting- women ages 18+).  When I was active (and as a child) I listened to all of conference minus the priesthood session.  Now that I’m no longer active… I still listen to most of it- and reviews of all of it. (Reviews Here Here and Here)

General Conference weekend is a different experience from the apostate side of the fence- especially when you have many LDS friends on Facebook and other social media.  The LDS church is very PR savvy and encourages its members to use social media to share their thoughts on General Conference.  Conference weekends follows a stream of Facebook posts, Tweets (including an announced hashtag) and pinterest pins, about every talk, song, what the choir is wearing, and encouragement for people to “come listen to a prophets voice.”

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